Trigun Boys... TV addicts.
by Loki13
Summary: Oh my Goddess I was tired when I wrote this! It's hella funny though! I had to stop and laugh a few times, especially when Wolfwood... well... just read it and find out.


Vash: There's nothing on TV....  
  
Legato: I know. You'd think having digital cable and over 800 channels and there would be at least SOMETHING on...  
  
Vash: Legato...  
  
Legato:... What?  
  
Vash: Do soemthing neat with your head.  
  
Legato: ... um...  
  
Vash: You know, make my socks dance or something. I'm bored.  
  
Legato: Why don't you? I don't want to.  
  
Vash: Because my head doesn't do anything neat besides hold up my hair.  
  
Legato: So it's your head that does it? I thought you used gel...  
  
Vash: Wait, aren't we supposed to be killing each other or something?  
  
Legato: Your right! Die you infadel scum!  
  
Vash: *I should be running away right about now...* (turns to run away)  
  
Legato: Oh wait! I almost forgot!  
  
Vash: What?  
  
Legato: You can't run away yet, and I can't kill you yet.  
  
Vash: Why...?  
  
Legato: You're still wearing my boxers.  
  
Vash:... Oh so I am. One sec. (Runs to the bathroom and changes... Brings Legato his boxers back)  
  
Legato: ... Aren't you going to wash them first?  
  
Vash: Hey I sprayed them out with disinfectant... It's not like I'm diseased!  
  
(Wolfwood walks across the background in nothing but his boxers... No one seems to notice)  
  
Wolfood: *yawn* Mornin' guys.  
  
Legato & Vash: (look at Wolfwood) Mornin'  
  
(Wolfwood opens the refridgerator and takes out some milk. He takes a drink out of the carton)  
  
Legato: Hey! Don't drink out of the carton! We all use that!  
  
Wolfwood: *swallows* Sorry. (pours some into a bowl that magically appeared on the counter next to the fridge)  
  
Vash: I swear.  
  
Legato: *nods*  
  
Vash: Anyway, where were we?  
  
(Wolfwood pours cereal into the bowl, puts away the milk, and walks back across the background, in nothing but his boxers, eating the bowl of cereal. He dissapears into a room)  
  
Legato: (watching Wolfwood with a raised eyebrow and a half-frown) I forgot. Wanna see what's on tv?  
  
Vash: Sure, why not?  
  
(They slump onto the couch and proceed to channel surf. Starting at Channel 1... )  
  
(Meryl walks in in her nightshirt)  
  
Meryl: Mornin'.  
  
Vash and Legato: (Staring blankly at tv grunt in reply to Meryl.)  
  
Meryl: You two need to get a life.  
  
Vash: A life? Where can I buy one of those?  
  
Legato: I think down at the old store. I hear they have them on sale for five double dollars. ^^  
  
Vash: (looks in pocket... moth flies out) Neh... I don't need a life. I'm fine.  
  
Meryl: *rolls eyes* You two are going to get old and fat and all slobby and disgusting and- hey, aren't you two mortal enemies?  
  
Vash: (Looks at Legato)  
  
Legato: (Looks at Vash)  
  
Both: No, we prefer tv!  
  
Meryl: That made no sense.  
  
(Milly walks in in her nightgown)  
  
Milly: What's all the noise about? *yawn*  
  
Meryl: Just a hog and a couch potato discussing life.  
  
Milly: Really? Where? I wanna watch!  
  
Meryl: -.-  
  
(Wolfwood walks back in)  
  
Wolfwood: (Pauses) Did I do something, or is this like a nifty reunion?  
  
Milly: I-  
  
Meryl: Milly's making pancakes.  
  
Milly: I am? Wow! I didn't know I could cook!  
  
Wolfwood: (eyes everyone suspiciously) okay then. (he sits on the couch next to Legato and Vash, currently zoned out again) Anything good on?  
  
Vash & Legato: *grunt grunt snort grunt*  
  
Wolfood: *Grunt?*  
  
Legato: *snooort*  
  
Wolfwood: *snort.*  
  
Meryl: Oh my great god. They even have their own potato language.  
  
Milly: It's more than a little frightening. Hold me! (glomps Meryl)  
  
Meryl: (shoves Milly off) How many times do I have to tell you, DON'T DO THAT!  
  
Milly: (looking for pancake batter) Do what?  
  
Meryl: -.-" I need an aspirin.  
  
(Wolfwood grabs the remote to switch the channel)  
  
Legato & Vash: *GRUNT!* (death glare at Wolfwood)  
  
Wolfwood: *Snort grunt snort... snort.* (changes channel)  
  
Vash: *ROAAARRR!* (dives on Wolfwood)  
  
Legato: (follows suit) *ROOOOOAAAAARRRR*  
  
Wolfwood: mommy... o.o  
  
(A huge scuffle insues and they end up breaking the remote)  
  
Wolfwood: It's all your fault! (Insinuating Legato)  
  
Legato: My fault?! If you hadn't gone to change the channel this never would have happened!  
  
Vash: (Working diligently on fixing the remote with paper clips)  
  
Wolfwood: You had it on a stupid channel anyways!  
  
Legato: I did not! watching naked... (evil smirk from Loki)... mole rats is the most enlightening and educational thing you can watch! And it was the best thing on!  
  
Wolfwood: Was not! Law and Order was on!  
  
Legato: EEEW! That's the worst!  
  
Wolfwood: BEST!  
  
Legato: WORST!  
  
Wolfwood: BEST!  
  
Legato: WORST!  
  
Vash: FIXED IT!  
  
Legato & Wolfwood: (Cheer... then glare at each other... then cheer again)  
  
Vash: (pushes power button... nothing happens. He pushes it again. Still nothing. He pushes it a third time and gets a massive electrical shock) ... Itai...  
  
Legato & Wolfwood: (mortified) YOU BROKE THE REMOTE.... AGAIN!  
  
Vash: *twitches* (puff of smoke comes out his nose)  
  
Milly: Wow... Did you see all those blue sparks? It was like our own little indoor lightening!  
  
Meryl: ... I think you guys killed him.  
  
Legato: No we didn't!  
  
Wolfwood: He killed our remote, it serves him right!  
  
Legato: (smacks Wolfwood upside the head and whispers) Be a little sympathetic for the girls, kay?  
  
Wolfwood: Since when do you care about sympathy? You slaughter people for a living!  
  
Legato:... Your right. Who cares! He killed our remote... twice!  
  
(tv switches on)  
  
Legato & Wolfwood: YAAAAAY! (they stop and stare... mortified again) Martha Stewart?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Milly & Meryl: YAAAAAAY! (Shove Legato and Wolfwood and Vash's still twitching self off the couch to watch Martha Stewart) 


End file.
